lkg4btrlife's Blog

http://www.widgetbucks.com/home.page?referrer=13029001

I have a friend that when certain people are around me I have a hard time saying no to stuff like drugs, sex and even when i set limits it lasts for a few days and then they go out the window i havent been able to assert myself to the point of following through with the limits i set about drugs around me or in my house i am at the point of just upping and moving out leaving everything here and going live at a shelter or whatever anything but here ican not keep my stability up and just want to kill myself because it seems the getting better doesnt lasts and wont ever really happen maybe a day here and there sometimes a few but do not seem to be able to create a life that i want or should have i just contniue to fall into these pits. i belong dead. it would be what is best for everyone anyways. no one would miss me they would all gain some relief from my death and no longer suffer through my ups and downs more downs than ups but they would have relief knowing it was done and over now

Self-injury or self-harm is not a good way to handle distress in life.  On a website self harm is described as, "Self-Injury (SI) is the act of physically hurting yourself on purpose without the intent of committing suicide" (Self-Injury).  Another website says, " An estimated one percent of Americans use physical self-harm as a way of coping with stress" (Martinson).  A third website says, "Self-injury effects people from all walks of life, irrespective of age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or personal strength" (LifeSIGNS).

            Self mutilation is harmful and dangerous.  It is not good for your body to be physically injured anytime. It can cause infections, disfiguration, scars, and internal damage.  It can also lead to accidental suicide.  In an article on a website it states, "Self-harming is extremely dangerous.  While they usually have no suicidal intent, self-harmers are 100 times more likely to kill themselves than the rest of the population" (Jones).  Another website says, "Suicide is sometimes accidental when self-harming, but it is not intentional" (Fisher). 

            Self injury causes long term emotional problems.  A book says, "After an episode of self inflicted violence, most people progress through two distinct stages of emotion," "The second emotional stage includes feelings of guilt, regret, shame, and the return of the emotions that were evident before the act.  By the time you reach this stage, you probably feel even worse than you did before" (Alderman 75).  A web page states, "In time self-injury can become a person's automatic response to the ordinary strains of everyday life, and both frequency and severity of self-injury may increase" (LifeSIGNS).  Self injury causes a person to feel bad about themselves.  It makes the person feel that they can not cope effectively. 

            Self-harm is not a good way of coping with life's difficulties because it becomes an addiction. After using self injury as a way of dealing with major difficulties it becomes a way to deal with everything that feels emotionally painful, overwhelming, hopeless, and difficult.  A book says,      Speaking from experience, the obsessional phase was, for me, most intolerable.  The thoughts of wanting and actually needing to hurt myself, knowing it was wrong, and trying futilely to talk myself out of it, became overwhelming and distracting to the point where I could not concentrate, especially when it went on too long.  In the first three to five months of my recovery from the addiction of self-harm, I had to learn to sit with those uncomfortable       thoughts, feelings, and physiological sensations continually, without even momentary relief, which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  I would never want to go back to that place again.  There was no easy way out, but getting through it successfully made me a very strong person. (Turner 48)

A website says, "Like drugs, it gives you a temporary high, but you have to come down sometime. And when you do, the same problems are still there" (Red Tears).  The thoughts of self harm become obsessive and you act on the compulsion.  It repeats itself just like the disease of addiction.  When you decide to self injure your mind obsesses and the compulsion progresses.  The self injury becomes more frequent and more severe.  You become entrapped in the cycle of self harm.

             Even though self injury is not a good way to handle stress in life, people who self harm believe it is.  They think inflicting physical pain on themselves is an effective way to escape the emotional pain and anxiety they are feeling.  One book says, "The self-injurer realizes, albeit on a subconscious level, that physical pain equals escape and ultimate freedom.  And that she can cause herself to experience physical pain (with the end goal of going away and having no feelings) by hurting herself on purpose" (Turner 45).  A website states, "It is a method of coping during an emotionally difficult time that helps some people temporarily feel better because they have a way to physically express and release the tension and the pain they hold inside. In other people hurting themselves produces chemical changes in their bodies that make them feel happier and more relaxed" (Self-Injury)

            Even so, self-injury does not make you feel better in the long term.  It is a temporary escape from the current issue, problems, thoughts or feelings that may be going on in your life.  One website says, "Often people hurt themselves to try to relieve intense emotions and feel better. These intense feelings can seem uncontrollable, frightening, and dangerous. When people have them they may think that hurting themselves is the only way to escape these feelings,"  (Self-Injury).  They may get instant relief from self harm but they then feel worse than they had felt before choosing to injure themselves.  Furthermore, they then have to cope with the shame and guilt associated with their deliberate abuse.  Self harming is not a permanent way to get rid of distress in life.

            Self harmers also justify their self abuse by claiming their behavior does not hurt anyone else.  They are not physically harming another.  It is their body, they say, and they have the right to do with it as they please.   Those who injure themselves also often feel ashamed, alone and unlovable.  Self-injury then seems to be an effective way to hide and isolate oneself.  A book reads, "It can have some detrimental effects on relationships with others, one of which  is to keep others at a distance, both emotionally and physically" (Alderman). 

            Self-harm does hurt other people.  Everyone involved with the self injurer is emotionally harmed by their behaviors.  Caring people are naturally distressed when they see someone hurting themselves.  In addition, a book says self injury causes "a lack of honesty and open communication between you and important others in your life" (Alderman).  Some people lie about their thoughts, feelings and actions because of the shame they feel about their self harm.  Self mutilators can't be close with others or gain intimacy because they can't be honest with others or confide in them.  People who truly care may begin to believe the self harmer does not want them around.  They may learn that they can not trust what they are told by the self injurer.  These things cause fear, confusion and sorrow for other people. 

            Finally, self injurer's see their destructive action as a way to gain control.   A book reads, "Self-inflicted violence is a coping mechanism that you use as a way to control dangerous feelings or even to stay alive." (Alderman 61).  When a self injurer injures themselves they are looking for instant gratification and relief.  Self harm is an immediate way to take control of what they are feeling and experiencing.  Self harm is also a way to control the abuse that happens to you.  Many of those who injure themselves have experienced abuse by others that they could not control.  Instead of being hurt by someone else, they control the abuse by hurting themselves.

            Self-harm becomes uncontrollable and is addicting.  A book states, "It is a horrible internal struggle of an obsessive nature.  This is very similar to what an alcoholic or addict experiences when obsessing about drinking or doing drugs" (Turner 48).  Self harming behavior becomes compulsive and very difficult to stop.  The self injurer loses control over the one thing they think helps them to stay in control.  Rather than gaining control, their life becomes unmanageable because of the self harming behavior.

            Self inflicted violence is not a good way to cope with life's problems.  Self injury is mind consuming and makes you feel more isolated.  The self harmer gets caught in an ongoing cycle that is not a healthy or effective way to live.  They feel alone because their behavior has pushed everyone out of their lives.  Self mutilation is just like using a drug and becoming wrapped up in the disease of addiction.  You can no longer function with it but also feel you cant function with out it.  The self harm is just an escape for that moment and when it is all said and done the problems are still there and the self harmer feels worse than they did before they injured themselves.   

Works Cited

 Alderman, Tracy.  The Scarred Soul.  Copyright 1997.  New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Fisher, Sarah Michelle.  "Self Mutilation."  Pyske.org.  Created March 14, 2006.  Retrieved July 21, 2008.  http://www.psyke.org/articles/en/self-mutilation/

Jones, Dr. Hillary.  "Close Them Down."  Newsoftheworld.co.uk.  Retrieved July 21, 2008. www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/3009_self_harm.shtml.

"LifeSIGNS.  "Self-Injury Factsheet for Parents and Guardians."  Lifesigns.org.uk.  Copyright 2008.Retrieved July 21, 2008.  http://www.firstsigns.org.uk/files/factsheet-parents-v3.pdf.

 Martinson, Deb. "Bill of Rights for People Who Self-Harm."  Selfharm.net.  Copyright 1998- 2001.             Retrieved July 21, 2008.  http://www.selfharm.net/brights.html. 

"Red Tears."  Red-tears.com. Retrieved July 21, 2008.  http://www.red-tears.com/page4.htm.

"Self Injury: A Struggle."  Self-Injury.net.  Copy right 1999- 2008.  Retrieved July 21, 2008.  http://www.self-injury.net/faq/.

Turner, V. J.  Secret Scars.  Copyright 2002.  Hazelden Foundation.

Disorder Paper: Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a complicated disorder characterized by black and white thinking also known as all or nothing thinking. Most borderlines are manipulative and insecure. They have low self-esteem and nearly no self-confidence. They have not learned effective coping mechanisms and are unable to distinguish between themselves and the world that they grew up in. Most borderlines have issues with boundaries and limits. They do not have their own and have a hard time allowing others to have boundaries. They tend to be impulsive in their actions and unable to think before acting for the most part. The diagnostic statistical manual for mental health disorders states,

Diagnostic criteria for 301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder- A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.  Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsivity in atleast two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).  Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.  (DSM IV-TR)

Dr. Corelli describes Borderline Personality Disorder as, "There is a deep-seated feeling that one is flawed, defective, damaged, or bad in some way, with a tendency to go to extremes in thinking, feeling, or behavior.  Under extreme stress or in severe cases there can be brief psychotic episodes with loss of contact with reality or bizarre behavior or symptoms" (Corelli).  "Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy.  They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are.  Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone" (NIMH 2008).  "A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly, and competent.  They sometimes can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense structure crumbles, usually around a stressful situation like the breakup of a romantic relationship or the death of a parent" (Corelli). Symptoms appear to minimize as the Borderline ages.  This may be due to life experience as they grow; they seem to manage their symptoms better.  Their lives seem to settle down and become more stable.  They commence to be able to function and manage better as they age. 

There is an influential connection between child abuse, neglect, and Borderline Personality Disorder.  More women than men are identified as having BPD.  According to an article, "Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a common and severe condition with substantial morbidity and mortality.  BPD has a point prevalence of 1% to 2% in the general population, but the rate climbs to 10% to 20% in the mental health treatment settings.  BPD is manifested by a wide array of symptoms and is associated with significant functional impairment and mortality rates approaching 10% in long-range naturalistic studies" (Gregory, Remen 2008).  The DSM IV-TR states, "Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss or separation are more common in the child-hood histories of those with Borderline Personality Disorder" (DSM IV-TR, pg.708).  It also states, Borderline Personality Disorder is about five times more common among first-degree biological relatives of those with the disorder than in the general population" (DSM IV-TR, pg.709).  There is some evidence of biological connection although studies have not shown clear evidence of what genetic links there are in BPD.

During recent years, there have been many studies done and treatment for BPD is more widespread now than a decade ago. There is still a stigma against people diagnosed with BPD in the world and the mental health system itself. One article advises, "Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder are often unfairly discriminated against within the broad range of mental health professionals because they are seen as 'trouble-makers'" While they may indeed need more care than many other patients, their behavior is caused by their disorder" (Levin 2001).  It also states, "Many professionals are turned-off by working with people with this disorder, because it draws many negative feelings from the clinician" (Levin 2001).  An article on the web says, "People with borderline personality disorder are among the most difficult to treat with psychotherapy, in part because their relationship with their therapist may become as intense and unstable as their other personal relationships" (Personality Disorders). Treatment providers need to set and stick with clear limits. They need to be able to provide support to the borderline but not allow the borderlines manipulative behavior to interfere in the treatment they are providing.

Over the past decade or so there have been many treatments suggested for treating borderlines but not many have shown to be effective in the long-term treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. An article reads, "Treatment includes psychotherapy which allows the patient to talk about both present difficulties and past experiences in the presence of an empathetic, accepting, and non-judgemental therapist.  The therapy needs to be structured, consistent and regular, with the patient encouraged to talk about his or her feelings rather than to discharge them in his or her usual self-defeating ways" (Corelli).  The most effective treatment that has shown to be effective is DBT. Dialectical behavioral therapy first introduced by Marsha Linehan has shown to be the most effective in helping the borderline learn to live their life to the fullest they are capable of.  An article states, "Therapy should help to alleviate psychotic or mood-disturbance symptoms and generally integrate the whole personality.  With this increased awareness and capacity for self-observation and introspection, it is hoped the patient will be able to change the rigid patterns tragically set earlier in life and prevent the pattern from repeating itself in the next generational cycle" (Corelli). Treatment of the borderline client and its effectiveness depends on the investment of the client. They borderline needs to want to change to effectively benefit from any treatment that is provided including but not limited to; DBT, psychotherapy, medications, or other methods that has not been mentioned but may help. Borderline Personality Disorder needs to be studied more to find more beneficial treatments.

Works Cited:

American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,   Fourth Edition, Text Revision.  Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

Corelli M.D., Richard J., "Borderline Personality Disorder", Http://www.stanford.edu.  Retrieved October 17, 2008.  Http://www.stanford.edu/~corelli/borderline.html.

NIMH., "Borderline Personality Disorder".  Http://www.nimh.nih.gov.  Retrieved October 15, 2008.  Last reviewed: June 26, 2008.  Http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.shtml.